I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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