Kiss
Puke
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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