I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
