I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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