Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
