nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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