I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
