We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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