NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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