I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
