The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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