It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
