Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
