I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
