Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
