But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Where is the hickey?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
