i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
