Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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