I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
