you dipped you banana in queso last night.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
