Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
