when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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