We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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