sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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