Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
