Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
