i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
