Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Well I just put wine in my tea
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
