I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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