I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
