Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
