i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
