So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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