I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
