Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I want to have your abortion
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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