I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize