she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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