then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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