All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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