i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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