I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
