This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
