what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
