holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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