in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
