Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
