I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
