wrigley field is MILF paradise
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
