My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
