going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
